Patience & Psalm 130

I was just thinking about how silly I am when it comes to patience. I want so many things without having to wait. I selfishly consider what I do not have instead of what I've got. I dwell on the work I don't want to do instead of actually doing it. It's ridiculous how self-seeking and impatient I can be.

I thought of a verse from Psalm 130 in the midst of all this -- "My soul waits for the lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning". Of all the things I should wait upon, surely my Savior should be first. Then, of course, all other things will fall into their proper place. I can learn to trust God and wait upon His timing and His gifts. In the meantime, it's my duty to do the work I'm given and be a good steward of my gifts and time.

¹ Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;

² Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

³ If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?

⁴ But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

⁵ I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

⁶ I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

⁷ Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

⁸ He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Jesus Christ our Savior is worth waiting for. He is our hope and our greatest reward. The blessing of God is with us. No more shall we wait on the world.

Peace, Be Still

“And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And He was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake Him, and say unto Him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And He arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. “And He said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?”--Mark 4:37-40

In keeping with my recent themes of anxiety, comfort, and raging storms (amidst a rather beautiful snow shower tonight), I write tonight about Jesus's command to the violent winds -- "Peace, be still."

I think we are often like these storms, letting anger or fear stir us up into a self-absorbed whirlwind that only makes our situations worse. The answer is not found in indulging this torment or tension, but rather letting it go.

Be still. Listen. Accept the Peace that passes all understanding.

This is the kind of faith I need. This is how we ought to live - with complete trust in our Mighty Savior and God, who rules all we know with a wise and mighty hand. He is the One to whom the rocks shall cry out; He is the one by whom all stains are made the purest white; He is the one to whom the stormy seas surrender.

As the Deer, Psalm 42

As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after Thee.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.

You alone are my soul, my shield.
To You alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.

You're my friend and You are my brother, even though You are my King.
I love You more thank any other -- so much more than anything.

You alone are my soul, my shield.
To You alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.

I want You more than gold or silver; Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real Joy-Giver and the Apple of my eye.

You alone are my soul, my shield.
To You alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.

-"As the Deer" by Martin Nystrom

Taken from Psalm 42, the lyrics to this familiar old hymn are a comfort and reminder for me. They spark my heart to place its burdens and cares upon the One who set it beating, and allow me to participate in the blessed act of worship. There is nothing more beautiful than this.

In reading Psalm 41 today, I feel moved and inspired. I've felt such a strong connection to David - I think we share much in common, and it inspires and excited me to know that this great king after God's own heart is not so different from myself.

Psalm 42:

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Though I've felt tired, I know that my spirit and strength, my very life comes from the Lord. What I thirst for is His presence. Feelings of loneliness or mockery are common to man, but we need not feel them any longer. Yes, it is difficult when things go badly and the desire to praise is lost for a time. However, there is such great hope to be found in our Savior!

I love the poetry of verse 7: I've been overswept by the currents of change and expectation more times than I can count, but the roaring voice of my Father calls me back to His shore. He directs my every move, if only I will let Him. I will be downcast no more. I will praise Him all of my days, with each breath I take.

Thank you for knowing me me, Mighty and Intimate Jehovah. Thank you for your Son of Love and your Spirit of Hope. I thirst for You.

Isaiah 41:10-11

9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Chicken Soup for the anxious soul.

God has created each of us according to his purpose, called us from all over the world, and designated our hands to serve Him in a unique and perfect way. He will always be with us - how could he not be, since we are held within the palm of His mighty hand? There is nowhere we can go that He is not.

To think that we can exist apart from God is absurd; It is as senseless as a captain who insists that his ship does not sail on the water. Our Creator is always here with us, always watching us, and always loving us.
Don't be afraid. You're in the palm of His hand.

Matthew 5:3-12 (The Beatitudes)

The Beatitudes came to mind today.

3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Between business, school stress, a bad cold, and personal confusions, I've felt more than a bit downtrodden.
My spirit is heavy -- God grants me hope of a greater gift. When I despair and cry out, He is there to listen and to comfort me. At times I feel worthless and unimportant; Christ offers me a prized position and His full inheritance.
I long for wisdom and holiness to fill my empty heart. I'm completed and satisfied through faith in my Savior. I can't say I've had much opportunity to be merciful lately, but I pray that my heart will not view others with a judgmental or hateful eye, so that mercy may be taken on me.
Let my heart be pure, seeking to know and trust the Creator who fashioned me, and let me see Him for myself more and more clearly.
May I be a reconciler, a unifier instead of a disrupter or a force of separation.
I want to be righteous. This is not my home.

(I feel a little disconnected today. This isn't my best entry. Maybe I'll do another one later. Let's pray for each other, friends.)

Psalm 138

I'll give a bit of preface to this entry. During the day and especially tonight, I began to worry. The good things in my life are certainly good and wonderful gifts from God, but tonight I began to question whether I was deserving of such Grace, and I convinced myself that the things I hoped for were too good to be true.

I let myself fall into a lion's den of despair and second-guessing, calling myself an idiot and believing that I'd end up with the same lonely failures I so feared to repeat. Finally, I decided enough was enough - I'd clear my head and go for a run around campus at 11 at night.

The run was good, although rather short. It helped to clear my thoughts, but not enough to dissolve the pit of anxiety in my stomach. I knew that it was time to speak directly to my God.

Starting outside, sitting against a wall of the Beaman, I worshiped the One who created the beautiful stars and trees before me, and who gave me such a sense of wonder, and such blessed gifts. I lifted up my concerns and hopes, but still felt like I was still holding myself back somewhat. I decided to run to the Bell Tower, which is used as a prayer chapel. It felt like where I ought to be.

I entered the silent, peaceful room and shut the wooden door behind me, then walked through the rows of pews to the altar in front of the large wooden cross. I started by kneeling but I felt that I ought to humble myself further, and so I laid down on the ground and began to pray to my Savior.

Again, I praised the good things He has done, and wondered at the marvelous love Christ holds for me, that drove him to die upon that infamous cross -- all for my sins. I prayed desperately, unloading and releasing all my worries of what could be and what I wanted. "Lord, take this from me if I will not give it up. Take all my worries into your hands and let them fade. Do as you will, not as I desire."

With a heart still burdened, yet deepened by awe, I opened my eyes and saw the Bibles resing ont he mantle. I picked one up and opened it to where the ribbon had bookmarked a spot. It was Psalm 138, a Psalm of praise and thanksgiving which helped me immensely.

I was amazed at how much my night was mirrored in the Psalm. It truly felt written for me

Here's today's study. 

Note: I'm having copy-paste difficulties and I need to go to bed, so I'll finish this tomorrow.

Suffice it to say that even through my doubts, God is constant. Whether or not what I want is accomplished, He is steadfast. I pray that my will would be His, that my joy would come from serving the Perfect will of my Lord, who is the Anointed One. Use me as you will, Father. Fill me with your love!

Thank You

Life has been busy but very blessed the past few days. I regret not posting here, but I want to make an entry today. A prayer.

Psalm 31:19
"How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you."

Psalm 107:1
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

Lord, I thank you for the many blessings you have poured out upon me. I deserve none of these riches you give so freely, yet you continue to gift me with so much! How can I not love your Love? How can I not share it?

Let me truly fear and honor you in my heart and actions -- you are Good, absolutely and perfectly. I am in awe of your Majesty that surrounds and comforts me. Lord, how could you love me so much? You love me forever - I cannot begin to understand this.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, my precious Lord Jesus! I will praise your name forever. I will love you all of my days. Let my heart take refuge in yours. Let me be forever blessed by your Name.

Praise be to God, who loves his children without limit! He loves me -- He loves you. I am in awe.