Patience & Psalm 130

I was just thinking about how silly I am when it comes to patience. I want so many things without having to wait. I selfishly consider what I do not have instead of what I've got. I dwell on the work I don't want to do instead of actually doing it. It's ridiculous how self-seeking and impatient I can be.

I thought of a verse from Psalm 130 in the midst of all this -- "My soul waits for the lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning". Of all the things I should wait upon, surely my Savior should be first. Then, of course, all other things will fall into their proper place. I can learn to trust God and wait upon His timing and His gifts. In the meantime, it's my duty to do the work I'm given and be a good steward of my gifts and time.

¹ Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;

² Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

³ If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?

⁴ But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

⁵ I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

⁶ I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

⁷ Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

⁸ He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Jesus Christ our Savior is worth waiting for. He is our hope and our greatest reward. The blessing of God is with us. No more shall we wait on the world.

Peace, Be Still

“And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And He was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake Him, and say unto Him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And He arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. “And He said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?”--Mark 4:37-40

In keeping with my recent themes of anxiety, comfort, and raging storms (amidst a rather beautiful snow shower tonight), I write tonight about Jesus's command to the violent winds -- "Peace, be still."

I think we are often like these storms, letting anger or fear stir us up into a self-absorbed whirlwind that only makes our situations worse. The answer is not found in indulging this torment or tension, but rather letting it go.

Be still. Listen. Accept the Peace that passes all understanding.

This is the kind of faith I need. This is how we ought to live - with complete trust in our Mighty Savior and God, who rules all we know with a wise and mighty hand. He is the One to whom the rocks shall cry out; He is the one by whom all stains are made the purest white; He is the one to whom the stormy seas surrender.

As the Deer, Psalm 42

As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after Thee.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.

You alone are my soul, my shield.
To You alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.

You're my friend and You are my brother, even though You are my King.
I love You more thank any other -- so much more than anything.

You alone are my soul, my shield.
To You alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.

I want You more than gold or silver; Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real Joy-Giver and the Apple of my eye.

You alone are my soul, my shield.
To You alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire, and I long to worship Thee.

-"As the Deer" by Martin Nystrom

Taken from Psalm 42, the lyrics to this familiar old hymn are a comfort and reminder for me. They spark my heart to place its burdens and cares upon the One who set it beating, and allow me to participate in the blessed act of worship. There is nothing more beautiful than this.

In reading Psalm 41 today, I feel moved and inspired. I've felt such a strong connection to David - I think we share much in common, and it inspires and excited me to know that this great king after God's own heart is not so different from myself.

Psalm 42:

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Though I've felt tired, I know that my spirit and strength, my very life comes from the Lord. What I thirst for is His presence. Feelings of loneliness or mockery are common to man, but we need not feel them any longer. Yes, it is difficult when things go badly and the desire to praise is lost for a time. However, there is such great hope to be found in our Savior!

I love the poetry of verse 7: I've been overswept by the currents of change and expectation more times than I can count, but the roaring voice of my Father calls me back to His shore. He directs my every move, if only I will let Him. I will be downcast no more. I will praise Him all of my days, with each breath I take.

Thank you for knowing me me, Mighty and Intimate Jehovah. Thank you for your Son of Love and your Spirit of Hope. I thirst for You.

Isaiah 41:10-11

9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Chicken Soup for the anxious soul.

God has created each of us according to his purpose, called us from all over the world, and designated our hands to serve Him in a unique and perfect way. He will always be with us - how could he not be, since we are held within the palm of His mighty hand? There is nowhere we can go that He is not.

To think that we can exist apart from God is absurd; It is as senseless as a captain who insists that his ship does not sail on the water. Our Creator is always here with us, always watching us, and always loving us.
Don't be afraid. You're in the palm of His hand.

Matthew 5:3-12 (The Beatitudes)

The Beatitudes came to mind today.

3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Between business, school stress, a bad cold, and personal confusions, I've felt more than a bit downtrodden.
My spirit is heavy -- God grants me hope of a greater gift. When I despair and cry out, He is there to listen and to comfort me. At times I feel worthless and unimportant; Christ offers me a prized position and His full inheritance.
I long for wisdom and holiness to fill my empty heart. I'm completed and satisfied through faith in my Savior. I can't say I've had much opportunity to be merciful lately, but I pray that my heart will not view others with a judgmental or hateful eye, so that mercy may be taken on me.
Let my heart be pure, seeking to know and trust the Creator who fashioned me, and let me see Him for myself more and more clearly.
May I be a reconciler, a unifier instead of a disrupter or a force of separation.
I want to be righteous. This is not my home.

(I feel a little disconnected today. This isn't my best entry. Maybe I'll do another one later. Let's pray for each other, friends.)

Psalm 138

I'll give a bit of preface to this entry. During the day and especially tonight, I began to worry. The good things in my life are certainly good and wonderful gifts from God, but tonight I began to question whether I was deserving of such Grace, and I convinced myself that the things I hoped for were too good to be true.

I let myself fall into a lion's den of despair and second-guessing, calling myself an idiot and believing that I'd end up with the same lonely failures I so feared to repeat. Finally, I decided enough was enough - I'd clear my head and go for a run around campus at 11 at night.

The run was good, although rather short. It helped to clear my thoughts, but not enough to dissolve the pit of anxiety in my stomach. I knew that it was time to speak directly to my God.

Starting outside, sitting against a wall of the Beaman, I worshiped the One who created the beautiful stars and trees before me, and who gave me such a sense of wonder, and such blessed gifts. I lifted up my concerns and hopes, but still felt like I was still holding myself back somewhat. I decided to run to the Bell Tower, which is used as a prayer chapel. It felt like where I ought to be.

I entered the silent, peaceful room and shut the wooden door behind me, then walked through the rows of pews to the altar in front of the large wooden cross. I started by kneeling but I felt that I ought to humble myself further, and so I laid down on the ground and began to pray to my Savior.

Again, I praised the good things He has done, and wondered at the marvelous love Christ holds for me, that drove him to die upon that infamous cross -- all for my sins. I prayed desperately, unloading and releasing all my worries of what could be and what I wanted. "Lord, take this from me if I will not give it up. Take all my worries into your hands and let them fade. Do as you will, not as I desire."

With a heart still burdened, yet deepened by awe, I opened my eyes and saw the Bibles resing ont he mantle. I picked one up and opened it to where the ribbon had bookmarked a spot. It was Psalm 138, a Psalm of praise and thanksgiving which helped me immensely.

I was amazed at how much my night was mirrored in the Psalm. It truly felt written for me

Here's today's study. 

Note: I'm having copy-paste difficulties and I need to go to bed, so I'll finish this tomorrow.

Suffice it to say that even through my doubts, God is constant. Whether or not what I want is accomplished, He is steadfast. I pray that my will would be His, that my joy would come from serving the Perfect will of my Lord, who is the Anointed One. Use me as you will, Father. Fill me with your love!

Thank You

Life has been busy but very blessed the past few days. I regret not posting here, but I want to make an entry today. A prayer.

Psalm 31:19
"How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you."

Psalm 107:1
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

Lord, I thank you for the many blessings you have poured out upon me. I deserve none of these riches you give so freely, yet you continue to gift me with so much! How can I not love your Love? How can I not share it?

Let me truly fear and honor you in my heart and actions -- you are Good, absolutely and perfectly. I am in awe of your Majesty that surrounds and comforts me. Lord, how could you love me so much? You love me forever - I cannot begin to understand this.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, my precious Lord Jesus! I will praise your name forever. I will love you all of my days. Let my heart take refuge in yours. Let me be forever blessed by your Name.

Praise be to God, who loves his children without limit! He loves me -- He loves you. I am in awe.

James 1-2

The following post is an old one that I'm reposting and re-studying today.
It's a big day for me and I wanted to read something from my favorite book, James. May my head and heart be in the right place. Oh, and I'm making a few edits and notes as I go along...
-----------------------------
September 1, 2006

I just finished reading James 1-2. There's so much in there to take in and discuss -- it's difficult to know where to start. I suppose I'll just work my way through the chapters and point out some ideas or statements that really grabbed me or made me think. Today I read from the Message translation, so thats what I'll quote from.

1:2-4's statement that your faith-life is forced into the open when under pressure really struck me. As a new Freshman in college (NOTE: And still today as a sophomore!), I'm in a period of drastic change and pressure. I am seeing in myself that my faith and sense of self are really being tested in this environment. It gets tough being in this new world with so many different people who believe all sorts of things. But I do know that this struggle will only make me stronger, because it helps me to realize my need to depend upon God. Like 1:5-8 says, I should "pray to the Father" when I need help, and I should do so boldly, "without a second thought"! It's so encouraging to know that He loves to help me.

The verses from 1:13-18 are an interesting dichotomy of perspectives concerning good and evil. Even though we sometimes find ourselves or our friends blaming God for the difficulties or evils in our lives, those evils come only from our own hearts. Our wrong desires build up, and "Lust gets pregnant and has a baby: sin!" But all that is good comes from God, "cascading down from the Father of Light." We have evil living within our hearts; God, however is nothing but Goodness and Truth. (May He reshape our hearts and change our ways to His own!)

1:22-25 held some personally challenging things to say. I am all too often guilty of "letting the Word go in one ear and out the other." Whether I am reading a passage for the sake of getting through it and not thinking more deeply about how it applies to my own life, or letting my attention slide when a prayer or discussion of faith is taking place, I need some help and strength and in this area. (This is always a struggle, but I think it's important to realize this fact and be vigilant about actively pursuing God and staying connected to the Word and Spirit.)

Action is the key to solving my failures, however.. By acting upon God's word (in whatever manner it is delivered) and taking a moment to sit back and think deeply about how it affects me, I am blessed with "delight and affirmation"!

In 1:26-27 I found another message that truly gripped me and held my ear: "Real religion [...] is (to) reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world." (This creed, in various translations, is a passage that has moved me and haunted me for some time now. I am trying to live it out as my mission statement.) His mission is twofold -- I must take care of those who are unable to take care of themselves, and I must watch my own heart to keep a vigilant stand against corruption. This is a little bit hard to understand and I'm still working it out, but I think that it means that service and a sense of unassailable holiness are two things that I ought to strive for.

Chapter 2 opens with a convicting hypothetical situation that is all too often played out, especially in my own heart and mind. Verses 1-13 describe a rich man and a poor beggar entering a church. If I deem the rich man to be worthy of the finest seat but offer the lowly street person either a seat in the back or nothing, I have no concept of the Kingdom of God. I am not a judge. It is not my place to say who is more deserving of honor or salvation.

We have heard that the last shall be first and the first shall be last, and this passage makes it very clear that God is serious about that statement. "He chose the world's down-and-out as the kingdom's first citizens," and those who make themselves out to be important people place their own vanity above God. Of course, such pride makes it nearly impossible for God to work in the life of such a person. I must not let myself become vain, nor must I think that a person in good standing with the world is in good standing with God.

2:14-26 closes the chapter by recalling the message of works that was hinted at in chapter 1. Repeatedly stating that the separation of faith and works yields a corpse, these verses urge us as Believers to match what we say with what we do. We must each take it upon ourselves to make our actions (as well as our words ) testaments to the Goodness and Truth of our Lord God. After all, a man who claims to be a humanitarian but does not give the beggar on the street a piece of bread is terribly hypocritical. (This really gets me right now. Lately I've struggled with a conflict between the desire to help the homeless people who come up to me here in Nashville, and my own distrust of them. I always assume they're either fakers or booze addicts who don't deserve my money. Even if I can't give them my change, I can always offer them some food and talk to them, treating each person with respect and love.) This hypocrisy is one of the greatest turn-offs to faith in the modern world. If we are to show others the Love of Christ, we must live that love outwardly.

That's all I have for now, having worked my way through chapters 1 and 2. I didn't touch on everything and I am quite sure that i missed some important points and got a few things wrong, but as a personal study of the word I really felt a blessing from taking this active and purposeful approach to Bible study.

-Robert.

Ephesians 3

Today I read Ephesians 3. In this chapter, Paul speaks to the Church in Ephesus, reminding them that "through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise of Christ Jesus" (Eph 3:6). He stresses that the wisdom and blessings of God should be made plain to everyone, and that all may approach the throne of Salvation with freedom and confidence. He follows this urgent insight with a prayer on behalf of the Ephesians, for whom he has gladly suffered and persevered.

¹⁴For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Paul fervently prays that his brothers and sisters would be strengthened by the richness of the Holy Spirit, dwelling as Christ within their hearts. With this compassion fixed upon them, Paul prays that a greater understanding of the Savior's love would arise -- that they might begin "to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ," which knows no boundaries and surpasses all knowledge. How incredible it is to think and wonder at this Love!

Since we are all heirs together, with such glory and mystery revealed before us, we are united by Christ's mercy and redemption. We must support one another and continue to serve this Gospel -- there is no other choice but to make this Freedom and Love known.

I pray that you would allow Christ to dwell deeply in your heart, whether or not you have already made Him a place there. May He search your inner being and intimately know you, and make known his absolute Love for you. May you have the blessings and peace that come with this fullness of being -- may you experience the complete fullness of God, overflowing with the fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

Lift your problems, worries, and insecurities to Christ -- he will not judge you for them or scoff at your weakness. Paul knew himself to be "less than the least of all God's people," but he was made righteous through faith.

Praise God, who Loves us without limits! May the Spirit fill your soul with Love.

Psalm 139:23-34

I read through Psalm 139 several times, and picked up some really interesting things I'd missed before. I thought about how this was a psalm of David and how it represented his life - the good and bad choices/desires as well as his passionate heart for God. i thought it was especially interesting that it was "for the director of music" - I felt like it was written especially for me, which in a sense it absolutely was.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Verses 23-24 are definitely the most personally important verses of this psalm - they sum up its entire message. Here, David has counted the myriad ways in which God intimately knows him, and asks that He would calm his fears and fix his offenses. It can seem frightening to realize that every wrongful thought and feeling is laid like an open book before God, but David understood that it was this complete transparency that allowed him to have such communion with the Creator. David realizes his follies and worries, and reminds himself that even though God knows every detail of his life (both good and bad included!), He regards David with nothing but perfect Love!

This is true for all of us. There is no escaping God -- he invades our lives, intruding when we would prefer to attend to our own affairs and constantly offering us reminders that this world and this life are not ours, but His. We must submit and draw close, we must let Him search and test us. We must follow His path set before us and rejoice in the limitless beauty of His creation and love.

James 4:7-8

I've been reading James a lot recently, and for the last few years it's been one of my favorite books. I had picked out verse 4:7 as the most inspiring and important verses in the Bible for me.

7 Submit yourselves, therefore, to God.
Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you.

There are many other verses that mean a lot to me, and of course this only shows one aspect of how our walk should be, but it continually comes back to me. Whenever I feel overtaken, defeated, or tempted to ignore God, this verse comes to mind and haunts me to remember what I must do. At the same time, it's incredibly encouraging - If I resist the guiles and enticement of this world, they will pass and be defeated!

Nothing is too strong for me when I stand in the name of Christ. In that sense, the verse to follow fits perfectly:

8 Draw near to God,
and He will draw near to you.

By submitting to God and his will and resisting our sinful desires, we can draw near to Him, and be more completely filled with the love of Christ. This is something I deeply long for, and it helps so much to have these verses as a reminder of what's been promised to us if we will only be silent and submissive to this Great Love.