Lots + I'm tired!

I'll try to make this brief for now. I need to get sleep soon!

Summer school started this morning. Getting up at 6 isn't fun, and neither is taking classes during the summer, but it's what needs to be done.

Music is exciting, fun, and a great sustainer. I've been playing, writing, and performing a lot lately and I love it. I wrote a new song today called "A Reason to Remember". I like it, but it's not finished yet. Here's to proliferation.

It can be horribly frustrating sometimes to know what's right, especially when I want to do the opposite. "The good I would do," I often do not, but sometimes it's just as frustrating to do the right thing.

Sometimes I feel like a total idiot and the epitome of awkwardness. All those dumb feelings can really compound themselves into making me lose focus of what I need to do. Here's a tip -- even if you're a hopeless case, don't give in to thinking of yourself that way. It doesn't help at all.

I finally got that collection of Cash reading the New Testament. It's beautiful. I listened through James and it was really moving. I'm most of the way through Matthew now. I feel so connected to Scripture when it's read by Johnny. It shouldn't make a difference, but he's such a hero and that voice makes me feel so at home. I feel as though he were my long-lost third grandfather.

I'll try to write more tomorrow between classes. I need to do some more Word study here and in general.

I'll leave you with a one-page essay I'm turning in tomorrow for Rec Tech...

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What Am I Doing Here?
There is a question that rests in the back of my mind – a problem that demands an answer, and an uncertainty that calls to be resolved. It is the persistent voice that asks, “What are you doing here?”
It’s a question that I’m sure everyone has heard, but its universal nature fails to lessen the sting of the issue. Each of us must decide what it is that he or she is meant to do, and each of us must have a personal explanation as to why. Without a sense of direction, we are left feeling adrift in a sea of insignificance.
Purpose, it seems, is the great myth of our times. It is the legendary, mystical ideal that everyone seeks but few seem to find. For myself as a student, a musician, and a human being, I find my purpose in creative expression.
I feel that I have been gifted with an imaginative spirit, and that it is my calling in life to use this gift to the best of my ability. By using my creativity to encourage and inspire others, I believe that I am carrying out the purpose for which my God created me. A deep sense of satisfaction and value fills me when I engage in the creative arts – especially those of words and music.
I have found my purpose in service and stewardship by using my creativity to help and encourage those around me. If I can be mindful of these convictions and motivations, my actions will be blessed with order and with great productivity. Perhaps most importantly of all, I will have an answer when I hear that decisive question -- “What are you doing here?”

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Lord, let me be a bold and honorable man in your sight. Let me use whatever gifts you have given me for Your glory and not my own. Let me have the confidence and assurance that comes from knowing you and following your plan for my life.

Bless my adoring family and my wonderful friends, and grant us all the fullest of your peace and fruits. Let us be wise and truthful, compassionate and full of faith. May You be honored in all things.

In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I pray these things.

Amen.